TOTS 100 - UK Parent Blogs

Sunday, 29 April 2012

Admitting mistakes

Its always hard to admit a mistake, anyone will say that. Recently i did just that.
I admitted to someone very important to me that i was wrong about something big and was left in limbo for a few weeks while this person worked out what it all meant.

Now i have been given the concluding part to that mistake. It is something i have now to live with for the rest of my life and feels like a major thing right now. I am deeply hurt and angry With myself. I am disappointed that this person doesn't feel how i do about the whole mess and at the same time i am glad that i now have an ending and in time i guess i can start to heal.

At this point in time i am being brave in front the children, i am trying to keep busy- lets face it i have 101 things i need to do and all in the next 2 weeks. But as you all well know- when feeling hurt and betrayed all you want to do is curl up with a soppy DVD or book and hide. Chance would be a fine thing with 2 children constantly say "I'm bored".

I shall in the meantime hide at night and do the above. In the day i shall paint on a happy face and say to all who ask- "yes I'm fine" because that is what is expected of me.

3 comments:

  1. I can agree with that wholeheartedly feeling that now I have done exactly the same thing. Only I haven't admitted it to the person as I am afraid of a similar reaction and am not sure I can handle it at the moment. But then you have always been braver than I am. Hang in there hun and we will work through it all together xxx

    ReplyDelete
  2. Claire,
    My heart hurts for you. You've shared something so painful. It brings to mind how devastated I was when my first marriage went to pieces. I felt helpless, confused, furious, betrayed...you name it, if it was bad, I felt it. After my husband and I separated (all the while putting on a happy face for family members and friends) I spent my first holiday without my children, lying on the floor with a blanket over my head. I was in such pain that I couldn't fathom how to go on. But I did...and you will too. God's grace comforted me, guided me through and brought me greater happiness than I had ever known. I pray the same for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your lovely thoughts. You'd think after 2 husbands it would get easier, but not in this case, i know i made the mistake, but its too late so i have to live with it. x

      Delete